I’ve been thinking about the fight, “but fighting what”? For me I thought what I was fighting was the love that God has to offer. There’s something in me that is convinced that I’m just not worthy of it. Anyhoo, the concept of “surrender” has really been bugging me this past week or so and I think I’ve finally figured out why!!
In my mind I had confused the concepts of “submission” and “surrender”. I’ll explain: Most of my life the term “submit” has always had negative connotations, primarily because submission has, for the most part, been forced upon me (ie. “you will submit to me!”). Therefore, In my mind, I had equated submission with a loss of rights, with not being able to choose. It was very negative, and my instincts told me to fight.
I had also confused the concept of “surrender”, I had equated it with voluntarily giving over my rights to another.
Biblically, to “submit” is to voluntarily come under the influence of… another. Usually an authority, and God asks us to do that willingly, but he also asks us to submit to one another. The basic concept is to come under the influence of each other, encourage each other, learn from each other, build each other up. Submit to Him, etc.
Surrender is primarily used in terms of battle (and this is where the fight thing comes into it), and the surrender comes when one party has basically run out of resources and has to give-up/give-in is their only option.
Having said that, I can now explain this fight that was continually going on in me. It stems from the fact that I still have some fight in me! I still have the resources to do this on my own! So to surrender to God is very difficult, and thankfully it’s not what he asks me to do anyway!!!
To submit to God is to still be able to use what we have but to come under his influence, His guidance, His protection, His care.
I’m not sure if this is actually going to make sense to anyone else, but it has certainly been a huge thing for me to come to understand.
The concept of “submission” has been so twisted and warped in my life, that the term had become, in a sense “toxic” (without me even realising it)… the true meaning and benefit of it was lost.
Anyhoo… this has been a real breakthrough for me this week, and I thought I’d share.