time and time again…

25 February, 2006

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me;
For now hath time made me his numbering clock:
My thoughts are minutes; and with sighs they jar
Their watches on unto mine eyes, the outward watch,
Whereto my finger, like a dial’s point,
Is pointing still, in cleansing them from tears.
Now sir, the sound that tells what hour it is
Are clamorous groans, which strike upon my heart,
Which is the bell: so sighs and tears and groans
Show minutes, times, and hours”

Richard II ACT V SCENE V


Speaking of time… I think it’s rather peculiar how quickly life can change, one minute it’s all sorted, the next, nothing is sorted – well except for the big picture, but that’s big picture – I’d like to know what the little picture is, how does my little piece of the puzzle fit in? Does it fit at all or is this some new fandangled puzzle where all the pieces get together at the end of a given time and vote you off the puzzle?

Maybe I’ve been in the wrong puzzle box, maybe my puzzle was sold at a garrage sale years ago and I missed my ride! Maybe my puzzle is one of those that ends up at the back of the cupboard and never sees the light of day again because nobody wants to do a puzzle they can’t complete.

Something in me would like to think I’m the missing piece to some great puzzle, but somehow I doubt it. I think Im the piece that keeps trying to fit and does for a while, until someone realises that the edges don’t quite meet, and while it looked good for a while, and was useful to help get the dimensions of the puzzle, it’s time to be once taken out and placed on the side of the table in the hope that a gap will appear that it will fit into just nicely thanks you!

But what woud I know? I’m hopeless at analogies.

I’m also really tired – I can’t believe I just quoted Shakespeare!


reassessment

15 February, 2006
It’s such a rare thing to have the the space and time to look at life and priortise. For the most part, that’s what I’ve been doing over the last few months – reassessing – and while I know this wont be definitive, priorities change with circumstances, this is pretty much where I’m at.

There are just so many life situations that can draw my attention at the moment, so many things going on around me, and while I’m certainly mindful of them, I’m finding more and more that Father’s love is greater than each one. It’s not that they don’t matter, they do, it’s more that I’m seeing them in His economy not mine.

So many of the things I have in the past worried about, or devoted time to ‘fixing’, I just don’t have to any more. I’m allowing Him to prioritise my time and effort(!) and mostly He’s saying “relax”, which is just – well, lovely really.

I find that every time I start worrying about something, it’s like I get this tap on the shoulder and a reminder that it’s His problem not mine – and I find myself laughing at the freedom in that. Literally laughing out loud, or, if I’m being completely honest – crying at the revelation of His great love for me.

And so, priorities.

Considering the fact that Jesus has dealt with everything else, there’s only one thing left really, – love.